Communicating Couples, Empathizing Children

2021-11-10 12:08
There was a drama called 'Reply 1988' that was on everyone's lips and impressed both people in Korea and immigrant community. It portrayed a typical family's life living together with neighbors in the late 1980's. The reason why it remembered as a most impressive drama for me (whom does not enjoy watching drama) was not only because of joy of comparing and sharing the memory with, Duksun' who is contemporary with me but also it allowed me to think deeply about the true meaning of 'communication' along with the joy. We commonly think that we know and understand very well about people who are closer to us. However, it is quite distant from the reality. According to a research, it was estimated that the closer and more interdependent a person to another, the better the people know about him or she. But the result showed different conclusion; eventually, people anticipate more from others than the others actually think about them. We commonly say that there are no degree of kinship between husband and wife. It means they are closely related with each other that much and it is the relationship that wrong anticipation could act that was previously mentioned. Therefore, disappointment and frustration can arise within conjugal relations. The key to solve such emotions is communication in daily life through healthy conversation. However, it cannot be told as a well-communicated couple even they have a lot of conversation and spend a lot of time together. It is so both through my experience about marital counseling and cases of couple around me. Even if the couple is spending almost 24 hours together running same business, if there is a problem with the way they communicate, if can be said that their relationship is worse than the couple living far apart and having healthy communication. The conjugal relationship that accustom to criticizing, jeering and pointing out each other’s flaw-type of communication or the relationship that there are no communication, we should know that children that are raised in such family are wilting as they are experiencing frustration and blaming about their misfortune. The healthy communication comes from sharing minds. If you want to make a happy family, happy children, I want to tell them praise, empathize and encourage your spouse. Even you see the weakness or inadequacy of your spouse, say "You’re doing well! Isn't it hard? Vou did well! Only you can do this!!....’’ There was a line that stuck in my mind from the previously introduced drama 'Reply 1988* and it was from the scene where Duksun, the main character reminisce the past and narrating.

"Word contains one's mind. Therefore, even short word contains one's temperature"

The narration that was made on the premise of healthy communication in drama flow through typical couple to children and the scenes of sharing food with neighbors, borrowing stationery from friends, solving each other’s problem as possible as they can were not just the background but became the most salient component of narration. And yes. Having healthy communication containing warm temperature in home gives people the power to live in harsh outside society. Children grew up watching their parents unconditionally supporting and trust each other would eventually make such healthy family. Also, the 'abundant’ mind of children that was made in healthy family would be revealed in a society when they become a member of society; the influence of a person who is warm­ hearted would change home, neighbor, society and nation.

Jueun Jin

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